Thanksgiving vs. Christmas

Thanksgiving has seemingly devolved into a kind of pre-Christmas or Christmas-lite, However, when we were kids (yes, I am a boomer), my parents made sure we knew the difference. For one thing, Black Friday was not a trap we were ever lured into. The Friday after Thanksgiving is for many the day the Christmas shopping season starts, but our mother wasn’t going to wade into any Madison-Avenue-induced slugfest just to acquire Christmas gifts. Friday was spent with cousins, playing board and card games at home, with turkey sandwiches for lunch.

Here’s what we learned about Thanksgiving back (mumble) years ago:

Pilgrims came to these shores in 1620. They barely survived the winter, and that was only possible thanks to the help the Wampanoag people provided. They taught the Pilgrims how to grow local crops. The part of that mythology I remember best, however, is that when the pilgrims were on the brink of death, members of the Wampanoag tribe arrived with baskets of food and they all had a wonderful feast together. It didn’t happen quite that way, but Wampanoag and pilgrims did share a feast.

The Wampanoag would later learn that no good deed goes unpunished, but when we were kids creating pilgrim outfits and Indian war bonnets out of construction paper, we accepted this sugar-coated tale with warm hearts.

Youth Worker photo, date unknown

For the most part, European invaders were too busy in the 16th-19th centuries getting the Native nations out of their way to appreciate the help they once provided. So I suspect Abraham Lincoln wasn’t even thinking of Wampanoag and pilgrim when he created Thanksgiving in 1863.

Another difference: Thanksgiving music is not as endemic as Christmas music, and it’s just not the same. As kids, we learned “Over the River and Through the Woods.” I also love “We Gather Together” at Thanksgiving, but not the original Dutch hymn, which is way too Calvinistic to enjoy. Give me the Unitarian-Universalist version any day.

Anyway, while our materialistic society wants to make both Thanksgiving and Christmas all about spending money. In some people’s minds, Thanksgiving is just the beginning of the Christmas season. Here’s how resisters distinguish between the two:

holiday	Thanksgiving	christmas
The meaning	A day to give thanks for our many blessings	Celebration of the birth of Christ
How it’s  really celebrated	A frenzy of cooking and eating; watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade and (American) football games on television. Heartier souls may even play football. Some people start Christmas shopping already, but those people are heathens.	Some people go to church; Christmas Eve Midnight Mass is usually lovely.  Presents! A nice lunch or dinner with family and friends
Menu	Turkey is apparently the law; ignore at your peril. Pumpkin pie, cranberries, sweet potatoes & more!	Often turkey, but also ham, roast beef, or other family favorites. Christmas cookies!
Music	Over the River and Through the Woods, We Gather Together. There might be some I’m missing, but people don’t sing nearly enough at Thanksgiving!	Silent Night, O Come All Ye Faithful, We Wish You a Merry Christmas, White Christmas, Jingle Bells (& too many more to list)
Movies	Very few. The Big Chill, The Blind Side (arguably), maybe  Miracle on 34th Street (which is more of a Christmas movie)	A Christmas Carol (& updates like Scrooged), It’s a Wonderful Life, White Christmas & many more

New Chapter

BK just retired! His final day at work was last Friday.

I’d like to say he’s mostly been resting on his laurels and enjoying everyone’s congratulations. He’s basked in the well-wishes somewhat, but he’s also been busy. I woke up pretty much at my usual time this morning and he’d been up for hours already. Part of that time he soaked up the ambience in our loft, where he’s been hard at work. Over the weekend and for a few hours yesterday, he set up a desk he and Rocky got me for Mother’s Day. Much furniture assembly and reorganization was required. Doesn’t it look great?

My new, improved workstation

After that, he played bridge on his iPad, which seems more like retirement activity to me. As does playing guitar. He’s been looking forward to getting his calluses back and as I write this, he’s noodling around on his guitar, playing, changing his strings, etc.

BK also has an adventurous streak. I won’t say he’s given it free rein yet, what with all the furniture assembly, but he’s begun to explore it. This morning, when faced with a sour cream coffeecake (a retirement gift from a friend) he hefted a pastry knife and demanded, “draw yer cutlass, ye cowardly swab! Defend yerself!”

However, this soon segued into, “And I shall call you Sting!”

“I will do the stinging!”

Clearly, he’s going provide entertainment whenever he’s not improving our home environment. So far, I’d say retirement is going fabulously.

An Appreciation of BK

BK, aka Spouse Charming

As the pandemic wears on (and on… and on), I find myself reading productivity porn and wellness porn and anything I stumble on that makes me feel like I might someday sally forth to conquer.  Make the world a better place. Live long and prosper. All that kind of thing. One idea I’ve come across in a few places is that you should perform stretches before you get out of bed. I’ve tried a couple different routines.

Two discoveries resulting from my experiments: 

1. Stretching before you get out of bed can increase your energy and even help alleviate aches and pains
2. It’s very hard to accomplish one of these routines if you share a bed with someone. Seriously, you could put someone’s eye out or bruise one of their kidneys. 

Two more discoveries:

1. I’m not going to kick my sleeping partner out of bed so I can perform morning stretches there.
2. Being a creature of habit, if I don’t do something everyday for at least three weeks, I won’t remember to do it going forward.

So some mornings I start out cranky and achy. That’s the price of sleeping with BK. But I don’t want anyone to think this situation comes without its perks! I’m always finding new ones. I recently discovered, for example, that structural engineers can be filthy!

Now that BK works from home, I occasionally get to hear his work conversations. These include discussions of “erection drawings” and “riser supports.” When I overheard him say “a relatively stiff member,” I couldn’t take it any more. I allowed my inner juvenile free rein and immediately texted him: “Haha, you said ‘stiff member!’” 

Being quite the philosopher, BK mused that maybe one reason engineering remained an old boys’ game for so long was due to all the locker room talk. 

Thus endeth my little PSA for girls considering engineering careers. The women who are already engineers have probably heard it all already. I have a new appreciation for what you’re going through.

Another perk of living with BK is his tendency to make dad jokes. I’ll close with his most recent offering.

(Content warning: if you’re a fan of our former president, read no further)

“Donald Trump is so clueless that, until one of his staffers explained it to him, he thought Roe v. Wade was a discussion about how to cross a river.”

-BK

Ba-dum-ching. Thank you very much.

Pandemic Journal – Entry Two

A boy was having his 4th birthday. Because he didn’t want anyone to get sick, his friends and family gave him a special party.

They all decorated their cars.

The fire department came and used the siren on their big engine.

The parade began!

Everyone drove past and waved to the birthday boy.

The police came by and wished him a happy birthday. 

Everyone sang. It was LOUD!!! But it was fun!

Neko and Kiy

I’ve met several talented people through my local writing group, The Writing Journey. We’ve enjoyed putting story anthologies together, doing informal readers’ theater versions of Shakespeare plays, and going to see some of our members perform.

Neko Zujihan is someone I know from the group (mostly online) and he’s created something remarkable that I wanted to share:

His book is now available on severable platforms, and I hope you get a chance to experience the rich world he’s given us. Look for Kiy: Jumoku No Musuko (Son of the Forest) on his publisher’s web site, or on Amazon.

108 Years in the Making

First, a bit of historical context:

November 4, 2016

As I write this, TV coverage of the Cubs victory parade and rally for their 2016 World Series win plays in the background. WGN-TV reports that six million humans are packed around the 6.7 miles of parade route from Wrigley Field all the way down to Grant Park.

If you don’t live in Chicago, you may not understand the fuss. Then again, you might. If you have Cubs fans in the family, or if you follow baseball, you will be at least a bit familiar with how loyal the north side club’s fan base is, despite 108 years that ensued between the last World Series win before 2016. You may have heard about the people who have bought Cubs’ wear to put on the graves of loved ones who lived and died without seeing their beloved baseball team win a World Series.

If you don’t live in Chicago, you also likely have never heard (arguably) the best radio DJ ever: Lin Brehmer at 93.1 WXRT-FM.

His Lin’s Bins segments, wherein he answers questioned emailed by listeners are things of beauty—often classic bits of poetry or philosophy I hold to my heart long after the segments have aired. My main issue with them is that they’re no longer available via podcast. If they were, you know I’d share a link to one of his Cubs related episodes here…maybe more than one.

Well, I can’t. I can only mention that the Thursday morning broadcast on November 3, despite Lin’s fatigue after what had to be the shortest night’s sleep ever before his usual 5:30 a.m. start, brought a tear to my eye. Multiple times. He and news director Mary L. Dixon (who shares that morning slot) are huge Cubs fans. Exhausted but thrilled, there was no way they’d miss their first chance to celebrate with their listeners.

In addition to the Steve Goodman classic above, they also played J.D. McPherson’s North Side Gal  and Eddie Vedder’s “All the Way,” which you can hear on the WGN site.

Loved those songs, and of course many others Lin played, all full of the excitement of this long-delayed victory. But my favorite part of the broadcast was the way he closed it. Lin and Mary have hosted a special Cub’s opening day broadcast for as long as I can remember. As they ended their shift, Lin paid tribute to the many fans he’d met in the stands over the years, naming them, and telling stories of how long and thoroughly they’d supported the team. And as Lin likes to do, there was a tiny thread of music under the narrative. As it swelled, it sounded like this. If you choose to click on this link, as you listen, imagine people you live among and love, and some who you have loved, but who have since passed away, and how it would feel to share a moment of happiness with them and say, six million other people who are feeling the same thing.

That is all.

 

Tour de Farms – Another Year in the Bag

The mighty Power Pedallers: Dave, Kevin, Cookie, Beth, Danielle, me and David.
MIA: Randy, Natalie, and Sandy. But they biked that day, honest!

Bike MS has come and gone, and it was an adventure! While we didn’t miss dinner (the greatest fear of Bilbo Baggins), we did bike many miles (50 for Beth and me) in 90-degree heat, with 67% humidity, uphill, into a 15 mph wind.

Okay that last two claims were, of course, a slight exaggeration. I’ve yet to do any bike course that was uphill the entire way. And if you have a 15 mph headwind when you’re going south, it stands to reason that when you’re going north, it’s a tailwind. However…at one point, there’s a 17-mile stretch (mostly south, into the wind) with no scheduled rest stops. In the past, we’ve been able to get through it without needing to stop in between, but this year a lot of people sought out shade so they could gather strength to carry on. Several of us were sitting around under a tree in front of a farm house (this was Tour de Farms, after all) and we began to complain of this year’s challenges, each person seeking to top the person who spoke before. When we got to the point that someone said, “in the snow”, the next person said, “barefoot,” and I said, “and we liked it!” we figured we were done.

A blurry picture of me, grasping the medal I got for finishing

Here’s a shout out to BK, Sis, my cousin Steve, and friend Alan, for making the most awesome cheering section ever, and to all the generous people who sponsored me and thus, have contributed to MS research and support to those who are dealing with this disease. This has been my best year yet, in terms of fundraising. As of this writing, I’ve made 95% of my (admittedly ambitious) goal of $2500. I have until July 30 to meet it, so if you wanted to donate but haven’t yet, it’s not too late. Tour de Farms donations are being accepted until July 30. The link to my donation page is here.

Thanks so much to donors Lorie & Steve, Eileen (with Pat & Kat), Randy, Cecelia & Brian, Mickey, Danny & Lori, Rita & Kishin, Praful, the Ratay family, Rocky, Katie, Jay & Elizabeth, Ann, and Beth. I hope I haven’t missed anyone; please let me know if I have.

The Spark that was Pamela

Pam in 1979

Pam Menas was the first person I thought of as a force of nature. Anyone who ever heard her sing knows what I’m talking about, but she had immense gifts in many areas other than music.

We went to high school together, were in each other’s weddings, and got together often during our 20s as we worked towards finding our places in the world. As we reached maturity, we continued to share our journey. Each of us forged new paths when the earlier ones didn’t quite work anymore.

Pam had been a successful opera singer, traveling Europe and the U.S. to sing many roles, including Gilda in Rigoletto and The Queen of the Night in The Magic Flute. After some soul searching, she decided to leave her musical career. It was then that she revealed a fierce intelligence and talent for both mathematics and science. She earned a Doctor of Pharmacy degree and went on to serve as an oncological pharmacist at James Lovell Federal Health Center.

No matter how you met Pam, whether in school, in the music world, as a medical colleague, or patient, you couldn’t help but notice her warmth and her generous spirit…once you got past her staggering abilities!

2011

I’m sure I thought 59 was old when Pam and I first met, but knowing her taught me better. Pam was still a force of nature in 2016. She was taken from us suddenly, bewilderingly, and far too soon. Barton and I will always love and miss the woman he called “Sparky.” We hold her loving (and much-beloved) husband Lee in our hearts.

Starman

In addition to his music, David Bowie was also reported to be a true gentleman; incredibly well educated in the arts, culture, and history; and genuinely interested in others.

I was lucky enough to see David Bowie Is when it was in Chicago, and my thoughts from that exhibition appear below.

Album cover shoot for Aladdin Sane, 1973
Design: Brian Duffy and Celia Philo; make up: Pierre La Roche
Photo: Brian Duffy
Photo: Duffy © Duffy Archive and the David Bowie Archive

This retrospective of David Bowie’s amazing career ran in Chicago from September 23, 2014–January 4, 2015. I enjoyed his music, but was not the world’s biggest fan of David Bowie before this exhibit. However seeing his archive gave me a new appreciation for the man. The range of his talent astounded me, but what struck me most about him as an artist was the combination of his fearlessness and his hard work.

The show includes 60 costumes, numerous storyboards, handwritten set lists and lyrics, and some of Bowie’s own sketches, musical scores, and diary entries. Chicago’s Museum of Contemporary Art has so far been the only U.S. venue for the exhibition, which was organized by the Victoria and Albert Museum, London. It is currently in the Groninger Museum in the Netherlands through March of 2016, and should be in Japan—though I don’t know where exactly—in 2017.

Of course, his music has been running through my head since his passing. I’m grateful for the music, acting, and design, of course. But what stays with me is all he did—and he was conscious and intentional about doing it—to promote “oddity.”

Whatever tolerance that’s finally being extended to people who don’t hew to a conventional, static view of gender or sexuality owes something to the courage David Bowie displayed decades ago.

Here’s the link to an entertaining conversation he had with Lin Brehmer of WXRT-FM in Chicago, which I’ve always enjoyed.

Happy Anniversary, BK!

This is late. Our Thirty-mumble anniversary was a week and a half ago. However, here are a couple of pictures from the day…

BK at Clara’s

Doesn’t he look magical? We went to our favorite restaurant for dinner. He brought flowers home, too.

Aren’t they lovely?  He also gave me, like, 3 cards and the Lego Movie. I got him a card. I’m such a bad wife. I’m going to have to seriously have to up my game next year…