I’m trying to decide if my brother and Jerry Seinfeld are actually the same person.
My brother deserves that I have this dilemma. A few years ago, he tried to convince me that our Uncle Jim and Donald Rumsfeld were the same person. I don’t remember all Bro’s arguments, but I remember a few of his key points.
- Uncle Jim and Donald Rumsfeld were both politically somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun,
- they were never seen in the same place at the same time, and
- they looked a lot alike.
Based on similar criteria, I can certainly make a case for my brother and Jerry Seinfeld being the same person.
- While I have no idea what Jerry’s politics are, I have only a faint notion of my brother’s. I’m better off not knowing. He and I rarely talk politics – someone might have to mop up the blood. Jerry Seinfeld and I have never talked politics, so that kind of supports my argument. Also, and more to the point, both Bro and Jerry are smart-asses.
- I’ve never seen my brother and Jerry Seinfeld together. For years, I could hardly ever reach my brother on the telephone; he claimed he was busy with work and stuff. I think he was just screening his calls. I have never been able to reach Jerry Seinfeld on the phone. Coincidence? I think not. Nowadays, I have better luck calling Bro, because he gave me his super secret cell phone number, which he only gives to people whose calls he’s willing to take. JUST LIKE A CELEBRITY!
- they definitely look a lot alike. Sometimes my brother wears a beard, but I assume that’s to keep people from asking for his autograph. He really does look a lot like Seinfeld.
Actually, the “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee” commercial that aired during the Super Bowl is what got me started on this train of thought. I mentioned the similarity to my husband BK yesterday, and he said he could kind of see it, but that Jerry Seinfeld is funnier looking than my brother.
I don’t know. My brother is pretty funny looking. I have to admit, Jerry Seinfeld’s nose is much bigger. However – and this is a big however – my theory is that when my brother has to make an appearance as Jerry Seinfeld, he applies a false nose. Special effects makeup is so good nowadays, no one can tell it’s fake. Seriously, if you look at my brother’s hairline, his eyes, and his face from just under the nose to his chin, he’s the spitting image of Jerry.
This is pretty much all I got out of the Superbowl, to tell you the truth. Watching it in our house this year was pretty much like having a high-definition version of the Civil War in your family room. So sad. We had no special reason to root for either team, the Bears being their typical disappointing selves. We had to dredge up a reason to favor either team. The main reason to back Seattle was that our daughter lives there. Flimsy, but it was something. The reason to cheer for Denver was the fact that Peyton Manning (one of BK’s particular heroes) is on their team. We did watch for a few minutes early, but each successive reaction shot of Peyton Manning got sadder and sadder. Finally, we couldn’t take it anymore.
Thank goodness for Downton Abbey, that’s all I can say. And thanks to Foxtrot cartoonist Bill Amend for reminding me it was on last night!